"I LOVE THIS COMPANY!"
  http://www.detonate.net/media/dancemonkeyboy.mpg

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You single-handedly fought your way into this hopeless mess.
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Usage: mv [OPTION]... SOURCE DEST
  or:  mv [OPTION]... SOURCE... DIRECTORY
  or:  mv [OPTION]... --target-directory=DIRECTORY SOURCE...
Rename SOURCE to DEST, or move SOURCE(s) to DIRECTORY.

  -b, --backup[=CONTROL]       make backup before removal
  -f, --force                  remove existing destinations, never prompt
  -i, --interactive            prompt before overwrite
      --strip-trailing-slashes  remove any trailing slashes from each SOURCE
                                 argument
  -S, --suffix=SUFFIX          override the usual backup suffix
      --target-directory=DIRECTORY  move all SOURCE arguments into DIRECTORY
  -u, --update                 move only older or brand new non-directories
  -v, --verbose                explain what is being done
      --help                   display this help and exit
      --version                output version information and exit

The backup suffix is `~', unless set with --suffix or SIMPLE_BACKUP_SUFFIX.
The version control method may be selected via the --backup option or through
the VERSION_CONTROL environment variable.  Here are the values:

  none, off       never make backups (even if --backup is given)
  numbered, t     make numbered backups
  existing, nil   numbered if numbered backups exist, simple otherwise
  simple, never   always make simple backups