Features: Top Ten New Copyright Crimes

10. Watching PBS without making a donation.
You know who you are, you cheap ...

9. Changing radio stations in the car when a commercial comes on.
Future radios will prevent listeners from changing channels when a commercial comes on. The RIAA has not yet taken a position on whether it is permissible to switch channels when the listener doesn't like the song.

8. Channel Surfing during commercials, especially with Picture-in-Picture capability. Similar to radio, skipping through channels, particularly when combined with picture-in-picture (which permits viewers to know precisely when an ad block ends), will be prohibited.

7. Getting into a movie after the previews, but just in time for the main feature.
Theaters will be required to close their doors once the advertising and previews have begun. The MPAA has not yet taken a position on time-in-seat requirements for advertising in the pre-preview slide show or whether audiences should be compelled to watch the credits at the end of the movie.

6. PBS
How can commercially sponsored broadcast networks compete with a government sponsored network?

5. Inviting friends over to watch pay-per-view.
When you call to authorize viewing, you will be required to indicate the number of people present to watch. Compliance will be monitored and viewers must identify themselves.

4. Blocking pop-up ads on the Internet.
Yeah, Mozilla and Opera users, this means you!

3. Not buying things from the advertisers on television shows.
Part of your contract is that not only do you watch the advertisements, but that you subsequently buy from the advertisers. If you don't buy from the advertisers, the whole system breaks down.

2. Watching MTV if you are older than 35 or Matlock reruns if you are younger than 40.
Advertisers buy ads to reach a particular demographic. If you aren't part of that demographic you are, effectively, a thief.

1. Libraries and librarians.
This is why we have the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organization (RICO) Act.