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ELECTRONIC END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT FOR VIEWING ILLEGAL ART EXHIBIT 
WEBSITE AND FOR USE OF LUMBER AND/OR PET OWNERSHIP

NOTICE TO USER: BY METABOLIZING YOU ACCEPT ALL THE TERMS AND 
CONDITIONS OF THIS AGREEMENT INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, USE OF 
YOUR HOME AND CAR BY THE AUTHORS OF THIS AGREEMENT.

This Website End User License Agreement accompanies the Web Pages and 
related explanatory materials ("Crap"). The term "Crap" also shall 
include any upgrades, modified versions, or repaintings of the 
Website licensed to you by either The Prince of Wales, a sentient 
washing machine, or my old Rabbi (the one who used profanity). Please 
read this Agreement carefully. At the end, you will be asked to 
accept this agreement and provide this Website with a warm, 
lingering, creepy hug. If you do not wish to accept this Agreement, 
simply click the "I do not accept" button while forcefully shoving 
your computer off the back of your desk ("Card Table").

Upon your acceptance of this Agreement, this Website grants to you a 
nonexclusive license to use this Website or your own Shoes ("The 
Dressy Ones"), provided that you agree to the following:

1. Use of the Website.

1.1 You may use this Website on a hard disk or other storage device. 
On a scrap of drywall with a Sharpie, install and use the Website on 
a file server or a tomato server for use on a network or a VHS copy 
of the motion picture "Network" or for the purposes of (i) permanent 
installation onto the small of your back at the base of your spine 
via a tattoo or other storage devices or (ii) for providing the 
illusion of working while at work (using the following methods of 
deception: looking intently at the screen, moving the mouse, and 
typing decisively on the keyboard); and make backup copies of the 
Website for later printing and spreading out in an alley to make a 
nice bed.

1.2 You may make and distribute unlimited copies of the Website, 
including copies for commercial distribution, as long as each copy 
that you make and distribute contains this Agreement and is created 
in one of the following media: carved out of ice, as in an ice 
sculpture centerpiece; smeared in mustard on the side of a white or 
off-white panel van; or taught to a parrot who is then condemned to 
fly the earth for eternity, incessantly repeating the mantra of this 
Website.

2. Copyright and Trademark Rights. The Website is owned by its 
authors ("the Elks Clubs of America") and its suppliers. Its 
structure, organization, and code are the valuable trade secrets of 
the Freemasons, probably. The Website is also protected by United 
States Copyright Law and a group of big, scary goons who will happily 
beat you until you're ejecting teeth like a winning slot machine. Use 
of any trademark does not give you any rights of ownership in that 
trademark, jackass. Except as stated above, this Agreement does not 
grant you any intellectual property rights in the Website. Got it, 
fucko?

3. Restrictions. You agree not to modify, adapt, translate, reverse 
engineer, decompile, disassemble or otherwise attempt to discover the 
inner motivations, dreams, aspirations, or weird, possibly sexual 
fantasies of the Website.

4. No Warranty. The Website is being delivered to you AS IS and we 
make no warranty as to its use or performance. WE DO NOT AND CANNOT 
WARRANT THE PERFORMANCE OR RESULTS YOU MAY OBTAIN BY USING THE 
WEBSITE. LOOK, WHEN THIS WEBSITE GOES ALL CRAZY AND DESTROYS YOUR 
COMPUTER, KILLS YOUR PET, SLEEPS WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER, DIGS UP 
ALL YOUR OLD POETRY AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS, THEN CALLS UP YOUR FRIENDS 
AND READS THEM ALL THOSE REALLY EMBARRASING PARTS OUT OF YOUR 
JOURNAL, LIKE WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE "DESTINED FOR BEAUTY" OR SOME 
SHIT LIKE THAT, WE MAKE NO GUARANTEES AND WILL SIMPLY JOIN WITH 
EVERYONE AND LAUGH AT YOUR SORRY ASS, BECAUSE DAMN, THERE'S NO 
=46REAKING WARRANTY HERE. GET IT? NO WARRANTY. NONE. AT ALL.

6. Notice to Government End Users. The Software and Documentation are 
"Real Bitchin'," as that term is defined at 48 C.F.R. =A72.101, 
consisting of "Real Bitchin' (formerly 'Radical' items)" and as such 
terms are used in 48 C.F.R. =A712.212 or 48 C.F.R. =A7227.7202, as 
applicable. Or maybe 56 C.Fsomething something. 7. Oh, and these 
things, too: =A7=A7=A7=A7. Consistent with 48 C.F.R. =A712.212 or 48 C.F.R. 
=A7=A7227.7202-1 through 227.7202-4, as applicable, as well as =A7R2-D2 and 
=A7JOHNNY 5, locked in a beautiful metallic embrace of everlasting 
robot love.

PLEASE INDICATE YOUR ACCEPTANCE OR DECLINE OF THE FOREGOING AGREEMENT 
BY CLICKING ON THE APPROPRIATE BUTTON BELOW.

I Agree | I do not agree

by Jason Torchinsky

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<!doctype html public "-//W3C//DTD W3 HTML//EN">
<html><head><style type=3D"text/css"><!--
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 --></style><title></title></head><body>
<div><font face=3D"Times New Roman" size=3D"+2" color=3D"#000000">ELECTRONIC
END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT FOR VIEWING ILLEGAL ART EXHIBIT WEBSITE AND
=46OR USE OF LUMBER AND/OR PET OWNERSHIP<br>
<br>
NOTICE TO USER: BY METABOLIZING YOU ACCEPT ALL THE TERMS AND
CONDITIONS OF THIS AGREEMENT INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, USE OF
YOUR HOME AND CAR BY THE AUTHORS OF THIS AGREEMENT.<br>
<br>
This Website End User License Agreement accompanies the Web Pages and
related explanatory materials ("Crap"). The term "Crap"
also shall include any upgrades, modified versions, or repaintings of
the Website licensed to you by either The Prince of Wales, a sentient
washing machine, or my old Rabbi (the one who used profanity). Please
read this Agreement carefully. At the end, you will be asked to accept
this agreement and provide this Website with a warm, lingering, creepy
hug. If you do not wish to accept this Agreement, simply click the
"I do not accept" button while forcefully shoving your
computer off the back of your desk ("Card Table").<br>
<br>
Upon your acceptance of this Agreement, this Website grants to you a
nonexclusive license to use this Website or your own Shoes ("The
Dressy Ones"), provided that you agree to the following:<br>
<br>
1. Use of the Website.<br>
<br>
1.1 You may use this Website on a hard disk or other storage device.
On a scrap of drywall with a Sharpie, install and use the Website on a
file server or a tomato server for use on a network or a VHS copy of
the motion picture "Network" or for the purposes of (i)
permanent installation onto the small of your back at the base of your
spine via a tattoo or other storage devices or (ii) for providing the
illusion of working while at work (using the following methods of
deception: looking intently at the screen, moving the mouse, and
typing decisively on the keyboard); and make backup copies of the
Website for later printing and spreading out in an alley to make a
nice bed.<br>
<br>
1.2 You may make and distribute unlimited copies of the Website,
including copies for commercial distribution, as long as each copy
that you make and distribute contains this Agreement and is created in
one of the following media: carved out of ice, as in an ice sculpture
centerpiece; smeared in mustard on the side of a white or off-white
panel van; or taught to a parrot who is then condemned to fly the
earth for eternity, incessantly repeating the mantra of this
Website.<br>
<br>
2. Copyright and Trademark Rights. The Website is owned by its authors
("the Elks Clubs of America") and its suppliers. Its
structure, organization, and code are the valuable trade secrets of
the Freemasons, probably. The Website is also protected by United
States Copyright Law and a group of big, scary goons who will happily
beat you until you're ejecting teeth like a winning slot machine. Use
of any trademark does not give you any rights of ownership in that
trademark, jackass. Except as stated above, this Agreement does not
grant you any intellectual property rights in the Website. Got it,
fucko?<br>
<br>
3. Restrictions. You agree not to modify, adapt, translate, reverse
engineer, decompile, disassemble or otherwise attempt to discover the
inner motivations, dreams, aspirations, or weird, possibly sexual
fantasies of the Website.<br>
<br>
4. No Warranty. The Website is being delivered to you AS IS and we
make no warranty as to its use or performance. WE DO NOT AND CANNOT
WARRANT THE PERFORMANCE OR RESULTS YOU MAY OBTAIN BY USING THE
WEBSITE. LOOK, WHEN THIS WEBSITE GOES ALL CRAZY AND DESTROYS YOUR
COMPUTER, KILLS YOUR PET, SLEEPS WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER, DIGS UP
ALL YOUR OLD POETRY AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS, THEN CALLS UP YOUR FRIENDS
AND READS THEM ALL THOSE REALLY EMBARRASING PARTS OUT OF YOUR JOURNAL,
LIKE WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE "DESTINED FOR BEAUTY" OR SOME
SHIT LIKE THAT, WE MAKE NO GUARANTEES AND WILL SIMPLY JOIN WITH
EVERYONE AND LAUGH AT YOUR SORRY ASS, BECAUSE DAMN, THERE'S NO
=46REAKING WARRANTY HERE. GET IT? NO WARRANTY. NONE. AT ALL.<br>
<br>
6. Notice to Government End Users. The Software and Documentation are
"Real Bitchin'," as that term is defined at 48 C.F.R.
=A72.101, consisting of "Real Bitchin' (formerly 'Radical' items)"
and as such terms are used in 48 C.F.R. =A712.212 or 48 C.F.R.
=A7227.7202, as applicable. Or maybe 56 C.Fsomething something. 7. Oh,
and these things, too: =A7=A7=A7=A7. Consistent with 48 C.F.R.
=A712.212 or 48 C.F.R. =A7=A7227.7202-1 through 227.7202-4, as
applicable, as well as =A7R2-D2 and =A7JOHNNY 5, locked in a beautiful
metallic embrace of everlasting robot love.</font></div>
<div><font face=3D"Times New Roman" size=3D"+2" color=3D"#000000"><br>
PLEASE INDICATE YOUR ACCEPTANCE OR DECLINE OF THE FOREGOING AGREEMENT
BY CLICKING ON THE APPROPRIATE BUTTON BELOW.<br>
<br>
</font><font face=3D"Times New Roman" size=3D"+2" color=3D"#0000FF"><u>I
Agree</u></font><font face=3D"Times New Roman" size=3D"+2"
color=3D"#000000"> |</font><font face=3D"Times New Roman" size=3D"+2"
color=3D"#0000FF"><u> I do not agree<br>
<br>
</u></font><font face=3D"Times New Roman" size=3D"+1" color=3D"#000000">by
Jason Torchinsky<br>
</font></div>
</body>
</html>
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